Envy
by MillyOnFanfics
Summary: Four instances Severus was jealous of James Potter and or the Marauders *rated T because of mentions of sex*


I.

He is being spiteful; he knows this, he knows. But there is something between Lily and Potter and he can't help but be envious, envious of the way Potter and Lily share smiles as Lily walks down the corridors. _They don't walk together_. He reminds himself in a last-ditch attempt at bringing some fulfillment to his depressing day.

It doesn't work. _At all._

And _oh look_ Lily is sending Potter a grin. Potter smiles back, eyes creasing around the edges and an asymmetrical grin taking over his face. "Hey Lily!" He calls. Lily doesn't try to correct him.

"Hullo James!" She calls back, her curls twisting as she twirls to give Potter a high-five of all things. _At least it isn't a hug_. His mind pipes up uselessly. Now all he can imagine is Lily hugging Potter, picturesque curls flying as she tackles him–

Severus' mouth twitches downwards. "Lily, d'you – er, want some help for Transfiguration? I – I mean, you don't have to, and it's perfectly fine if you don't want me to, because your grades at Transfiguration are okay, but y'know, just in case, if you want to, the offer's always there." Potter says on the spur of the moment, all in one breath.

Her eyes dance happily, a twisting bright green glow. Severus feels his heart get a shooting pain, the pain of desire and need and – "Of course!" And his heart breaks, and it's Lily's fingerprints strewn on the saw-like fractures. And oh look she's hugging Potter now. His heart breaks all the more.

II.

Severus watches resentfully as Lily walks along another corridor, Potter at her side. Black is at her other side, sending teasing winks her way. Lily laughs. It sounds like angels descending from heaven. "Oi, Evans, I love you." Black states, and at her raised brow and dubious smile, adds, "Not like Prongsie here, but you're my sister." Potter chuckles, flicking Black behind the ear.

"Prat, I thought you were gonna steal my girl." He says, and Snape feels offense rise up at his bold 'my girl' comment but Lily laughs again.

"I'm my own person, James." She says. Snape smirks at that, but the smirk slides off his face as she declares, "But if I had to belong to anyone other than myself, it'd be you. If it couldn't be you, I'd take Paddy here."

Black lets out an indignant "My name is either Sirius or Padfoot! Not Paddy!"

Lily's mouth, crimson and scarlet and burgundy and ruby and cherry meshed together to form this perfect Lily Evans color, twitches upwards. Potter gawks at her, a stupid little grin on his face. His stupid golden-hazel eyes are wide and slightly enlarged. "Well that's too bad, isn't it?" Some of her hair falls on her face, a sheet of sunset-colored hair hiding her jade eyes and she's faultless and perfect and Severus is obsessed with her. Potter the toe-rag laughs and takes off Lily's braid, sunset meshing with crimson and scarlet and honey and persimmon once the rest of her hair joins that particular piece of hair. "Love you too Sirius." She says lightheartedly. "And you too, James." She adds once she sees that _stupid_ kicked puppy look on that stupid face of his. He runs away, unable to take the envy, oh gods the envy.

III.

"Lily!" Calls Lupin. Lily smiles at him, her lips coated with a fine layer of that color, the color that was just – so Lily. Her smile is too good to be described by meager language.

"Hey Remus!" She says, walking over to him. Once she reaches his side, Lupin starts saying a mess of rambled words.

He catches a few words in the nearly incomprehensible jumble. "How – ask – help –" He asks in a flash.

"Remy, slow down and start from the beginning." Lily requests patiently

The werewolf took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "How do you do the Hardening Charm? I know you're good at Charms so I came over to ask for your help." Lily snickers at the name before patiently helping Lupin.

A few minutes later, Lupin has mastered the Charm. "Thanks Lils!" He says, giving Lily a affectionate hug. Jealousy shoots through Severus' entire being.

Lupin leaves, and Severus decides to talk to her. "Lily," He says. He wishes that his voice is a smooth baritone, something that he's heard girls like. The smile drops from her face.

"It's Evans to you, Snape." She replies callously. He draws back.

"E-Evans?" He asks, feeling thrown off balance.

"Yes." She says, green, green eyes flashing with anger. _She looks beautiful_. He thinks suddenly, and remembers that Potter and his posse are the ones she smiles at right now.

"Why?" He says quietly. A fresh wave of anger rushes forward into his mind, influencing his emotions. "Why him?" He knows Lily can understand and hear the wordless ending. _And why not me?_

"Why James? James is a good man. He's stopped hexing you – and everyone else, for that matter." Lily says, and at his ambiguous stare, continues, "He tutors the other students in Transfiguration, he'd die for me. And I would die for him." She declares unflinchingly. He frowns.

"That sounds an awful lot like you love him." Somewhere in his mind he hopes – prays that that isn't the case.

Instead, Lily gets a goofy grin on her face. "You know what? I do love him. Thank you, Severus, for helping me realize it." She says. Her tone isn't warm, it's still icy , but it was slightly warmer. _Because of Potter_. He remembers. She walks off, clutching her heart.

He has a scowl on his face for the rest of the week.

IV.

He's looking angrily at the lake and the people next to it. It's Potter and his bunch of hooligans. "You're saying she loves you?" Pettigrew's voice was muffled by a chocolate frog, but the lack of faith was there all the same.

"Yeah mates. She cornered me and told me as we were heading off to bed."

Snape can hear Black's chuckles. "What, did you two go off to bed together then?" He says, still chuckling.

"Padfoot!" reprimands Lupin. "We don't need perverted thoughts here!"

Black grins. "We always need perverted thoughts, Moony my good man." He says. Lupin rolls his eyes. "Okay, if she loves you, lets hear her say it then. Oi Lily!" He calls.

Lily comes over to them, red hair trapped in a loose braid. "Yeah Sirius?" She asks, melodious voice making Severus smile for a split second.

"Prongsie here seems to think you love him." Remus explains. "So we," Here he nods at Black and Pettigrew. "want conformation."

Lily's eyes gleam. "Yeah." Her voice is breathless and happy. "I love him." Here, she jerks a thumb in Potter's direction. "I love you, honey." She says. Severus' heart shatters into a million pieces.


End file.
